Extra time

You're defying the predictions and best guesses of all your doctors and muddling along.

Your father and I are hunkered down at VSK with you, waiting to see what happens.

Last night we set our alarms to get up every two hours and check that you were still breathing. We felt sure you'd succumb to low respiration overnight.

Poppy and Daddy in the morning, 8 August 2017

For a little while this morning I imagined what it would be like to take you home with us and keep you; but this evening you're a very funny colour, and I've no doubt your lungs will carry you off sooner or later. If an overnight apneoa doesn't get you then you'll likely develop pneumonia. It was a chest infection that landed you in hospital all those weeks ago.

I wish that you were gone already. I want a peaceful end for you, not a slow decline into illness.

For the moment, we are all enjoying our extra Poppy cuddles and trying not to get ahead of ourselves with the what-ifs.

Poppy in the evening, 8 August 2017